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i am stupid or im not stupid or maybe i am most likely though Thursday, January 26, 2012

I am so so so down right now. I didn't get a good sleep yesterday night cause I had to take care of Aiman, re-edit powerpoint slides, sumbit report to my boss and bla bla bla. God knows things I have to do. And I slept late. Woke up on time. But I reached school late cause Aiman . Mum didn't bother to take care of him even for a while when she knows I have school. I didn't say anything. I went back home, so tired so so tired and all I got from mum was STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID. AM I THAT FUCKING STUPID TO YOU? I didn't go sec 5 so im bloody stupid? those express people are so smart? and im the stupid one? IF IM SO SO SO STUPID I WONT KNOW HOW TO TYPE EVEN. JUST FUCK IT.

AND THIS RUBINI. HELP YOU. NOW I GOT POLICE LETTER. FUCKING PISSED. FUCK YOU. FUCKING ASS. CALL ALSO DONT WANT ANSWER. I'LL MAKE SHOR I GO DOWN TO KK TOMORROW.

yknow the thing i hate about being a girl, i can just literally cry when im so so demoralized. like right now. I'm feel so.. down. so so down. and now im getting all the "are you okay" messages. Obviously im not okay. do i sound okay? no. absolutely no. Yor own mum calls you stupid. yor own mum says yor hopeless. obviously im no okay. No im not okay. no im not. I just need myself, to believe in myself and ignore every word my mum uses to demoralize me. If I can pull this through, im the most strongest girl i've known. I just have to be patient for 3 years and thats it. 3 years. thats it mairah come onnnnn.

and dear dear mairah, I wish you're not soft hearted heart. I wish you were meaner, I wish you were more selfish. I wish you're every negative word someone can think of. I wish you're way way way jahat. just rebel against everything and stop helping other stop caring stop everything. its just a waste of your fucking time and you're gonna get stupid shit in return. just some shits. humans are unappreciative so just dont give a fuck about anything. be selfish selfish selfish be self centered.

Im not stupid no im not. yes i am. NO I AM NOT STUPID. YOU BLOODY PEOPLE JUST FUCKING DON'T GET WE ITE STUDENTS ARE NOT STUPID AND NOT BAD INFLUENCE. DO YOU SEE ME SMOKE?! DO YOU SEE ME FUCK AT THE STAIRCASE?! DID YOU SEE ME DO A FUCKING BLOW JOB AT THE STAIRCASE?! DO YOU SEE ME FLIRTING WITH A GUY AT SCHOOL?! DO YOU SEE ME PLAYING WITH MY DAMN HAIR IN CLASS JUST TO ATTRACT BOYS?! NO?! NO?! SO SHUT YOR BLOODY BIG MOUTH. CAUSE YOU PEOPLE ARE JUST FUCKING STREROTYPES BIAS ONE SIDED. STOP ASSUMING STOP JUDGING. BEFORE I FUCKING PINPOINTING THE THINGS YOU DID.
4:06 AM
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My name is Person. I have a space on the internet. I like this and that. I am intelligent sometimes. Modesty wins me over. Banner from here: TheFadingNight.

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